Permanent Insomnia

It is standard operating procedure for me to get abso.f’ing.lutely NO sleep before a flight. The only difference in tonight’s ritual is that at least I don’t have any packing to do.

The crew goes on a college gig to Normal, IL mañana and I am very somewhere in the middle about it all. One would think that I would be a little excited over this but I’m not in much the same ways that I am not totally flat about it either. Pretty much, I hate disappointment (I know- like if anybody really LOVES it) and the only defense I have against it is ambivalence, which I wear like a Crusader’s shield. The positives are that I can do what they need from me (a 15 minute set to recognize Latino Heritage month which starts in the middle of September?!?! What up wit dat, yo?) pretty easily and it is just a matter of tapping the ol’ energy reserves to make it happen. The negatives are that the shield becomes the armor and when the moment hits I can’t separate it from my skin and what began as a defense mechanism morphs into actual instinct.

They also are asking for a radio show appearance (I hope I don’t do the patented “Let’s all try to sound like Louis Reyes Rivera” that we busted out last year… It’s like a myth on our tonguesI am not ashamed to admit thisOn the battlefield…) which I have NO idea what we are supposed to be talkin’ about which puts me in my all time favorite position- behind the 8 ball. A Q&A will also be involved regarding the film “Piñero,” a movie that I am so in the middle about. Great part- Benjamin Bratt nails Mikey down even though he is about 8 inches too tall for the role but he makes the script come to f’in life. Sadly, the script doesn’t match up to Bratt’s star power. It minimizes the role of women in the early Nuyo movement and reduces Mikey’s charitable community contributions to a simple “gangstah” like throw of a wad of cash to a bodgea owner.

The best part is that they screen the film the next day so I am in that great position to poison all their minds against it which is just some pure hate sheet and I have been trying to be a good boy lately— emphasis on try.

Alrighty then, it’s almost 2 am in the place where at least one name matters (I expect three of y’all to get that joke) and I am no where closer to sleep then I was before.

(Some time passes)

Ok. I just killed a half an hour putting together a lil quiz for some of y’all. I’ll let the other three or four of ya in it later to see what the initial scores look like.

Off to find another way to stay up.

Love ya like if we were in cruising altitude together…

Author: Oscar Bermeo

Born in Ecuador and raised in the Bronx, Oscar Bermeo is the author of the chapbooks Anywhere Avenue, Palimpsest, Heaven Below, and To the Break of Dawn. He lives and works in Oakland, CA.

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