you bring out the past lives in me*

had a ton of fun at yesterday’s reading at the blue ox

the ox was hella packed with (listen close folks) air conditioning and the pool table nicely tucked away in a corner (that’s right, y’all!)

leslie was kind enough to let mah late ass (what else is new?) read on the 1st half of the open mic and give guy some words from the heart. i do NOT like to get emotional which is one of the obstacles i will have to over come if i ever want to get to any deeper truth in my work but for guy, i can get a lil sentimental.

after the words of thanks i get ready to drop my latest piece (“Urban Air Guitar”) when who should walk into the blue ox but ‘ceviche woman’ now, let’s flashback to me finally finding my poet voice thanks to this poem, this woman coming to 13 and guy letting me get down on the hella crowded ‘lil bit louder’ open mic even though i was over half an hour late. so, with no warning (i didnt have guy’s numbers and wasnt comfortable enough yet to email somebody to leave some room for me on the mic) guy not only lets me get on the mic but also lets me go on last since ‘ceviche woman’ was also running late. point of the story, without guy the ‘ceviche’ poem may never have been

and thats why i gave a reading that had my voice shaking in mad moments and its the greatest feeling in the world to say the love poem of your life to the woman who still makes it all right even though the natural laws of the universe say all that can happen now is an extra tight hug and maybe a shoulder rub

i am often asked why it didnt work or why it still cant work but the bottom line is that we have had to find love when it was there and not wait for the magic moment to suddenly happen. as such, she is in love with someone else and they have a great life together and while he has never been my most favorite person in the world, she is my best friend and i wouldnt fuck up her happiness just beacuse i am feeling lonely or having second thoughts about my choices. i love her and if that means letting her go- then i’ll catch up with her in the next life which is somehting i say a lot but only because i really feel that this is one of those people that i will keep meeting up with in some way shape or form whether i am in corporeal or astral form

making a soft right, guy did his feature crazy justice and if it is his last feature, then it was a good way to go out. when he got to his last poem, i knew that there was only one way to go out and sure enough he dropped “Breathless” and its last line will echo for a good time in peoples head cuz i sensed a slowness towards the end that said “yeah, this be the last time, i am comortable with it” it was kinda sad ‘cept for the fact that it wasnt. ya know?

on a total left turn, nats is going on and you can find scores for night one here. (louder, urbana and nuyo all won their match ups which bodes well for all) and you can get up to the date random fun from a non-competitor who may come back with great stories and having the time of his poetic life here. and you can find one of the most honest and hardest working voices on the national slam scene talking about how this years nats may be just be the biggest cluster-ef here.

and you can find me getting on stage tonight at 8pm and droppin the baddest ass rendition of Sorta-Rican here

and you can paint me into a corner cuz i am outa here.

*with apologies to jai chakrabarti

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2 Comments

  1. That part about the lady hit hard man… hit real hard. You don’t even know. Well, you do. You just don’t know when it pertains to me.

    It’s damn hard sometimes too, but you do what’s best and really do keep that next life thing in concept and perspective find strength to move on and hope what you could have with that person you will have with someone else.

  2. Thanks again for everything you said last night. Other than making me feel old as hell (!), it was good to hear. More importantly, though, thanks for being there. Last night and in general. As for “yeah, this be the last time, i am comortable with it”, that’s exactly how it felt.

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