Imagine if all sports news conferences were like this: LeBron James reciting “The Negro Speaks of Rivers,” Mark Sanchez reading “So Mexicans are Taking Jobs from Americans,” Tiger Woods dropping “The Tragic Mullato is Neither,” Barry Bonds going off with “The Pure Products of America Go Crazy.”
Of course, we did have Muhammad Ali being, well, Muhammad Ali back in the day but more sports figures are more interested in either canned catch-all phrases (We’re going to give 100%), overwrought hype (I’m giving them 1000% of me!) or just some straight up nonsense (I’m expecting my teammates to bring 50&, our coach to do the same, and I’ll take care of the rest.).
Looks like for now, I’ll have to settle for my own version of fantasy poet sports and keep listening to this reimagined Blake looking to charge up England for this Saturday’s football game.
Props to Author Scoop for first pointing me to this video.