Mercury is out of the funky retrograde cycle as of this Saturday. ‘Bout damn time. I have not been feeling all together there for a minute. Yesterday, in an effort to dodge work, I almost gave myself a migraine. My body kicked the olfactory sense into overdrive and I was totally disgusted with the world for a hot second. Now I say my body but it may have just been my mind but sometimes the difference is just way to narrow to even try to make sense of it.
Tonight sounds like a nice night to chill out. Or not.
Lots of poetic work on my plate which leads us right back to Scene One of “ob tryin to figure it out” Kinda like a staged version of Bill Murray’s “Ground Hog Day” but with Andy Garcia playing me. Everyday Andy wakes up doubting himself and his role as a writer, he interacts with friends, family and the rest of the world trying to figure out how it all fits, in between he finds a lovely musa, falls in love, writes a poem and feels pretty damn good about the whole damn thing only to wake up again in that same doubting place.
Positives- Falling in love more and more every day is a fly experience that I am getting used to on the regular.
Negatives- Feeling like a hamster in the wheel.
Sunday I was at a pretty fly birthday celebration that was all kinds of fun and included a poet circle. By request, I dropped some new hotness that is still evolving, still kicking my ass, and still showing me mad love. When I finished dropping this version of “Menagerie” my first response was to go around this room of mentors and ask “Whatchathink?” like a wide eyes pup. You’d think almost five years after the fact that this would go away but it really hasn’t.
I am approaching the finishing touches to a real-deal manuscript which at this point just yells First Book. Good. I am loving some of the stumbles, trips and falls that i have picked up on the way to where I am right now. Each of these scars come with a good story or even a couple of good stories. It’s not waking up all beat up that bothers me, its waking up with the battle wounds but no sense of victory that is the downer.