Author Archives: Oscar Bermeo

reflectin’

after hearing morris interviewed last night by guy, as part of the louderEDGE format, i came to terms with what happened at the last slam. i went with the piece i wanted to and it didn’t score well enough for me to advance. the piece is still great and i debuted it when the inspiration hit. the fact that i am still using it despite the fact that it quote.failed.unquote speaks volumes as to my conviction in it’s message. aside, there are a few pieces that i HAVE abandoned because they haven’t done well in slam/on.the.open.mic and serious consideration should be given as to whether the flaw is within the work or my delivery.

much fun last night, all around. the open mic, morris, marty vs cristin in the head.to.head slam, shappy challenging guy to a head.to.head, guy accepting and the shenanigans afterwards.

yeah, the afterparty was especially good in that it was not just the “crew” hanging out. six new heads added their laughter, opinions, energy and a tear to our post show wrap up.

work.shop.ing

I am going down the new road of educator. some of the louderFAM are going to be going into rikers island to help teach a poetry class. details are forthcoming but we had a meeting with the director of the program to day and as she is going over some of the fine print; i found myself excited and scared at the prospect of having my first ‘students’ be a group of incarcerated individuals. not so much the fact that I am going into one of the most infamous penal facilities in the country, nah, that’s aight. just the fact that i have never taught before.

luckily, the rest of the louderCREW have a good deal of experience in conducting poetry workshops and will help me sculpt through a nice program of which i already have some ideas. let’s look at this from the best possible light, shall we? if i can help this group, maintain a focused lesson plan and have some good poetry emerge from them– then i can handle anything. walking into a library group will be a breeze in comparison. yeah, that’s the ticket!

another nice fit into this puzzle is the fact that i went to my first workshop in a LONG while this past saturday. it’s run by the b.c.a. and moderated by anthony morales. the class was fun and i had a good couple of free writes and am very much looking forward to next week’s critique of my work. we’ve got three pieces we have to put together and this may also fit nicely with that ‘bring a new poem’ challenge for next week’s slam.

i give workshops all the credit in the world for bringing me to where i am right now as a writer. my first workshop was through louderARTS and it provided a setting that allowed me to be more vocal than the open mic and let people know where i was trying to come from in my work and they, in turn, commented on whether or not my work reflected that direction. those first workshops were so good that ray initiated some more on his own and thus was synonymUS and a few great friendships born.

funny thing, i was sure that i was going to play the role of church mouse when those sessions began. my work was so new and i really wasn’t sure what i was trying to accomplish. compound that with the fact that everyone else in the room had some decent writer’s credentials. first chance to defend my work or my view points in writing and i was quite the verbal motherfucker. actually had to slow my role for a sec, as i found myself taking sides on every issue coming up. even got into a slight verbal altercation with a workshop member when i felt that they were not contributing to the group and was just using the class as their own personal playpen/therapy room.

those early lessons prepared me well for this new class, i was shut when it wasn’t my turn to speak and kept from commenting (thus taking the spotlight away from the moderator) on some things. when anthony starts the feedback portion next week, watch out! cool moment was when anthony said he recognized my name from the loudNOTES and someone else from the class commented on hearing both me & fish on an open mic already… my response?

‘never mind that, i’m here to learn.’

yesterday was also westside rhyme and the show was long but good with mara, c r avery, tai and roger on the mic. maya azecuna rocked the mic as well. tonight, 13 showcases morris stegasaurus, a true orginal of slam, he of the ‘nothing is more romantic than a one-legged prostitute’ poem. oh yeah, there will be something to write later, fo shue.

circles

started yesterday by submitting my BRIO application (bronx recognizes its own- a $2,500 grant from the bronx council on the arts) which involved putting together a 10 page manuscript of my poetry. i could have put together a performance poetry video but i figure its time to get to putting this chapbook together and this is a good start. instead of mailing it, i was lucky enough to be able to drop it off at the BCA offices. saw bill aguado, leslie, steve & mildred from universes and had the normal thing that happens when i chill at other people’s jobs

grant applicant: is this where you drop the forms off at?

bill: yes

ga: good (looks over at me) do i have to seal the envelope?

b: yes

me: yes

ga: (still looking at me) i included my slides is that ok?

b: excuse me?

me: ask bill

ga: but the slides have my name on them, that’s ok? right? (still looking at me)

me: ask bill

b: he doesn’t work here

ga: but i could remove my name from them (still fixed on me)

b: miss, please come over here so i can answer your questions

never fails, i hang at an office for three seconds and the whole world starts looking to me for answers. the best was the time it happened at home depot and the time i was mistaken for a restaurant owner. when you see me, i’ll tell ya about them.

hung out at taller boricua, fernando salicrup’s art gallery at the julia deburgos center in spanish harlem, for the debut of a new art exhibit and that shit was da bomb! met fernando at the blue ox and we talked about networking for a minute but that’s not why i was there. xavier is a co-worker of ray medina’s and he has been to a few synonymii, even did some art for us once, and he was at the acentos debut. since it’s all circles, i felt it was time to return the love.

i’ve been to deburgos a few times for ‘julia’s jam’ and felt a slightly different energy the minute i walked in. more packed, more diverse, more focused. soon as i hit the main room, i spotted xavier. it was hard not to. he had that same energy going on. he was genuinely happy to see me as we traded early pleasantries. checked out the other art in the room and then hit the rest of the exhibit. the rafael tufiño art was ridiculous! sketchings of white on black that reflect a style i’ve already learned to appreciate in the comic books of frank miller. also caught the art of wanda ortiz, who was kickin’ it lovely on the make.shift dancefloor when the congas hit!

went back over to xavier and discussed a bit about the piece that he had on exhibition. it’s called ‘epithymia’ which is greek for desire. (head over to the friends section and link over to his spot to check out the painting) the story behind it is lovely and it reminds me a lot of ‘leticia’s’ story and how i relate to feelings of longing in that piece.

ray and elaine finally showed up as i was having a convo with ernest camacho, one of the other artist being showcased. i got to introduce ernest to fernando, who i’ve only met twice and now i’m acting like if i’ve known him my whole life.

also met up with somebody else, whose name is being purposefully left out, that was speaking very highly of one of the artists in attendance and threw some similar praise my way– “both your art is so good, but just starting, i want to see both of you in five years truly come into your own” that was good for the soul especially since said person was not speaking to me much the last few times i saw them… enough of the mysterious convo.

introduced xavier to fernando as well. it felt good to be able to try to make the connections happen.

the after party (which follows every good artistic event) was at flor de mayo, a chino-latino spot on 84th & amsterdam.

had me some GOOD peruvian sopa con camarones (shrimp soup) that was crazy south american. choclo (slice of corn.on.the.cob) and fried egg with some spicy oil. i added some white rice and lime to it and it was just like ecuador!

missed out on lynne’s reading downtown which was the initial plan and i feel quite bad that i can’t be in two places at one time but the lure of hispanic culture was too fucking strong. so much art, so much appreciation. not just from latinos but everybody, just too much, especially when you add the arroz con gandules, drums, jibaros— all going on at the same time. fish said the deburgos center is puerto rico without the flies and now i know what he meant.

the downside is that i feel like a complete idiot when xavier is telling me the names of all these artists that have been around forever and are trying to make an impact on the entire art world. course, there are some poets that i mentioned that xavier didn’t know about. so it’s still all circles, as x teaches me some stuff and i return the love.

the challenge

so my friend steve has issued a challenge to his fellow poets: “bring a new poem to perform at the next slam”

this is going to be tricky because, as we have learned, new stuff doesn’t always do well in slams but i am still going for it because that is the whole reason i started coming to 13. the challenge of writing poetry that connects is the true draw of the stage and what keeps me coming back for more.

any one could write some ultra elusive poem that revolves around the mysteries of the universe but if no one understands it… then what’s the point? any good and true poetry that has survived the test of time is because it strikes a universal chord. when i first started writing it was all booty poems, all the time. specifically geared to one girl and it was working on all cylinders. we would have some good sex and i’d write about it. we’d have a fight and i’d write about it. some good lines came through and it got me into actually writing a bunch of stuff i was only contemplating but ultimately it wasn’t very good because i wasn’t writing it for myself, it was all to keep this lil flame going and it wasn’t that big a flame to begin with and booty poems turned into heartbreak poems and that shit got old quick. i needed a new outlet for what i was starting to enjoy doing (add another very important factor that we won’t address at this second) and i end up at 13.

this girl’s story was actually the impetus of the first poem i ever dropped at 13 (which did remarkably well, considering the low monotone voice i was sporting at the time) and she deserves some credit for my poetic career. not that much tough, remember– she DID break my heart for a second but a lil heartache in exchange for a poetic vocation that allows me to help people and promote art. not a bad trade off.

so, the challenge: ‘canto’ was a poem that was on the backshelf for a minute and has now blossomed into a wonderful performance piece and a great leap into my being more personal in my poems. there are a couple of ideas i have on the back burner including a poem that i have wanted to write for a bit about some baby.mama.drama that ended in a heartfelt good-bye to a 2 yeard old i would have been happy to call my own. that and eric, my main.bro, has given me the inspiration to what could be a beautiful bronx poem that will leave some quasi.political.poems in the dust. i hope.

ima write a new piece and will have it memorized in time for the next slam but will i actually have the cojones to pull it off. hhmmm?

i’m not committing yet. especially after i joked with steve that if he draws last in the round i am half-expecting him to start with “before the lean in…” (a tried.true and absolutely wonderful poem that steve has mastered)

steve’s response was the raise of an eyebrow and a quick smile that looked like the love child of an infomercial model and bill.clinton.circa.97

hasta siempre

Acentos

i just stopped writing what would have been the longest entry ever in this journal. it entails the whole start of Acentos and maybe i’ll drop it one day but not today! Acentos has debuted and i am exhausted, ecstatic, fulfilled, sad, hopeful and drained all at the same time.

we started late a.k.a poet time and had a FULL open mic as i have yet to learn to say no to people. as per design, fish kicked off the open mic with ‘Soy del Bronx’ and it was all good from there. voodoo lulu came up from manhattan and helped bring the woman energy and gave me good hope that we will attract a good multi-borough crowd.

ray medina, roger bonair-agard, henry valentin, chance, lily and future feature ed garcia blessed the open mic and then came the feature.

wanna hear something funny? i’ve never heard guy feature. came close for his going away party last year but had to miss that… irrelevant story. hearing him read last night crystallized a few things,

1. guy is the type of reader i’ve always tried to be. calm, steady, confident of his words, low on theatrics, high on images.

2. as latinos, we need to foster a home for our voices. guy is THE quintessential nuyorican, a mix of ethnic and cultural backgrounds on the canvas of the city, and that voice needs to come out. we have to stop thinking of who we are expected to be and just define our own roles in this city and country

3. Acentos is going to be the spearhead for bronx culture. if we can’t get people to come one train station past manhattan and one block over… then the battle is going to be long and bloody. blue ox will bring quality readers into the bronx and the manhattanites will follow and then they will discover the pergones theater, the point, the bronx museum and then eventually lead them deeper into the bX

in the middle of guy’s set came the surprise of the evening– an Acentos journal with good wishes from the louderCREW and a jimmy santiago baca poem! man, my first instinct was to run up there and thank the whole world but as host i have to keep the spotlight on the feature and told guy to keep going. he wrapped up with ‘Breathless’ and had the crowd begging for more. as promised, his chapbook was ready and it seems like copies of ‘Selected Squares of Concrete’ were selling quite well.

another break and then we finished up the open mic with eric guerrieri, al b back, sabrina hayeem-ladani, hermen rodriguez, freddy feliciano, frog prince, loca, ruhama, victor delgado & pete the bartender.

man that is some funkin’ open mic and we ended up running till almost 11! and apologies to raul maldonado, who had to leave before i could put him on the open mic.

the night went great even though i let the open mic get to heavy and thus kept people up way too late combine this with the fact that we want some louder regulars means that we have to end the night before 10 at least. the bar owner looked happy and pleased with the turnout and the poetry. the post Acentos celebration was supposed to be a run down to beau sia’s whatever but instead became a brave few knocking back whiskey at a friends house and being jackasses.

i am still tired but in a very weird emotional way. oh yeah, i got to look through the journal that was presented to me. i cried like a kid and it was just a weird cry that comes out when all the walls are broken down and the realization hits that this world is so ugly but still needs saving or the fact that the world is ok but we are fucked up hits and there is nothing to do but surrender for a minute and then in that surrender realize that there is still a lot of fight left in you and the world and somebody gonna win one day… but today aint that day!

what broke me down was this entry:

Your change is smart/Your change is full/Do what u do say what you say and ride this poem bull/Your the best at what u do and your not alone/Be yourself and stick with your poems/Future Poet

that’s the complete note, misspellings, rhyme verse and all. it’s that ‘Future Poet’ signature that messed me up. somebody else dropped a ‘Future Poet’ note as well. now i can really see this series affecting and influencing voices yet to be heard.

then i read through the other words left in there and it all just hit me but you don’t get to read about those… ;-0

just got a call from dee and she’s asking me to help her name a club night she’s promoting. she might use the title of one my poems. i guess the whole world knows ima poet. i’m tired but there work to be done. latah…